upside down

Last night, on our way home from another amazing dinner at Raul and Massi's I got a phone call on my cellphone. The number was international and right away my heart sank. I wondered who would call at 12am on my cell. It was my brother. He was really upset. He said that my parents had just been in a car accident, and that it wasn't good. He said that Mom was hurt, but would be okay, she was in the hospital. And then... he said that Dad had died in the crash.

Angie and I spent the night crying and in total shock. My dad was an amazing man. So full of love and full of life. He was always trying to make everyone happy, always trying to make people laugh. And now he's gone. We were so far away. I spoke with him just about a day before it happened. But it was a short call. Angie says I told him that I missed him, but I don't remember that now. I just remember all the things that I wish that I could've said. How I know that he and Mom had given so much to their kids. How I only wish I had worked a little harder to make life easier on them. How much I really love him. How much everything that I have and everything I am is because of them.

He never got to visit us out here. With the restaurant and his crazy schedule, we'd put it off until next year. We were thinking he and Mom would come out here in the spring. I always told him about the things that I loved about this place, things that I knew he'd love too. On our last call, I told him about Kyoto and how much I thought he'd love it. He said he'd been there but I never got to ask him the story of when and how. And I just wish we could've spent last week in Detroit back home.

The last time I saw him was about five months ago when we rushed back to Michigan to attend his dad's funeral. Angie and I got on a plane as soon as we could to be there to support the family and help with the arrangements. Turned out we would have a few quiet days before everyone came into town. I'll always remember that even as his heart was breaking he tried so hard to make us happy. Angie had mentioned that she liked a particular chow fun that he'd made us for lunch one day. And he tried to make it for her every day after that. He'd make some silly joke. With that little mischievous smile of his. Just trying to show Angie love through food as we'd always done in the family.

We went to a few of the old places where the family used to live in Southfield, where we used to picnic on Belle Isle. He just wanted to turn back the clock some way. And feel the way he used to. To be awash in memories of happier times.

Now Angie and I are making arrangements to get back as soon as we can. Angie has been an amazing friend throughout the night, though it's been really hard on her too. She lost her father at a really young age, and Dad was in some ways another chance. They really loved each other. But now he's gone. So it's back to Michigan. To be by Mom's side to help recover. To help her adjust to a new life in whatever ways we can. To find some connection to happier times. And to say goodbye.